Annoyance of One II

EXT. FRONT DOOR - DAY

PAN. STAN is lying outside the door motionless.

OVER SLOW MUSIC.

FADE To WHITE:

FADE IN:

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

STAN is sitting on a couch bouncing to music through headphones. The music suddenly stops and STAN sits up pulling off his headphones.

STAN
Hey, what about that guy that bashed me last year? I almost forgot about him.

STAN pulls out a steel pole from behind his chair. He has a sly smile on his face. He rubs his hand up and down it.

STAN
I still have to pay him back.

STAN gets up and starts to leave. His headphones slide down to the floor and he holds his pole up. He stands still smiling for a minute.

ADAM
Wait I can't just rush into these kind of things. This guy bashed me into submission, he must be one hell of toughie.

CUT TO:

INT. LOUNGE ROOM - DAY

OVER - CLASSICAL MUSIC

BRYAN is sitting on a couch sewing.

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

STAN
I need some kind of a plan. This might take me a while.

CUT TO:

INT. GARAGE - DAY

STAN opens a dart board hanging on a wall. He slaps a picture of BRYAN over the bulls eye. He lines up a shot very carefully. He has sweat on his forehead. STAN throws the dart and misses. He lines it up again, more sweat forms on his brow. The dart missies again. He is getting very frustrated. His next carefully lined up shot misses once again. STAN is very angry, he picks up a wooden stake and spears it at the target HURGGHHHH!! It hits the target dead in the centre . Smiling, he wipes his hands against one another and then his forehead and walks over and pulls out the stake.

EXT. PATIO - DAY

A dummy made out of stuffed clothes is hanging off a fence. STAN is holding a hockey stick. He starts to hack at the dummy with the hockey stick using all his strength. The dummy starts to fall apart. The torso falls off and lands on the pavement.

STAN
Hah! Take that, you inanimate dummy.

STAN kicks the dummy's torso a couple of times. With a psychotic expression he starts to jump up and down on the dummy and hit it with the hockey stick between his feet. He almost falls off with his final jump. He gets off the motionless torso and kicks it across the ground, looks at it for a second and then runs over and starts kicking it again.

EXT. GARDEN - DAY

C/U - STAN is wearing camouflage. He puts green and black makeup on his face using his fingers. LS. - Trying to keep as low as possible he runs over into some bushes. He sneaks behind the bushes, stopping and looking around then moving forward again. STAN reaches a gap between the bushes, he hesitates looking left and right then straight up. He gives a confused expression. He looks forward once again, glances down and then jumps to the ground. P.O.V. - Grunting and groaning he crawls along the ground like a commando. Until he reaches another bush where he gets back up off the bare dirt and disappears into the greenery. The stuffed dummy is slumped over on a fold up chair. STAN is in the bush behind the chair. He yells out ARRHHH! And grabs the dummy tipping the light chair onto the ground. With a firm grip he shakes the dummy until it starts to fall apart. He bites into the head of the dummy detaching it from it's body and shakes it like a dog with a bone.

EXT. STREET - DAY

BRYAN walking down the street. STAN is walking on other side towards one of his friend's houses. He then notices BRYAN and sneaks behind a wall. He pauses there for a moment and then runs to behind a letter box. STAN dashes across the road keeping as low as he can and sneakily walks behind BRYAN. He is running up to BRYAN and is about to hit him with a steel pole until he trips over a garden hose.

STAN
Lousy garden hose.

STAN tries to get up but can't get free of the hose.

STAN
Let go you stupid thing!

BRYAN turns around to see what the noise is almost spotting BRYAN but he is down too low, BRYAN continues to walk. STAN gets free of the hose and jumps up. He runs down the road towards BRYAN with the steel pole up but trips over a second garden hose. BRYAN walks around the street corner and disappears.

STAN
I give up. You win garden hose.

STAN walks off in disgust with the hose still attached to his ankle. He bends down and tries to rip the hose off angrily.

INT./EXT. BREAKFAST BAR/OUTSIDE WINDOW - DAY

The next day at BRYAN'S house.

BRYAN is having breakfast and reading the newspaper. The radio news is on. News intro music plays.

NEWS READER
Good morning, Your listing to triple C news. There have been many reports of a strange man sneaking...

BRYAN reaches over and turns up the radio.

NEWS READER
...around the streets armed with a steel pole. The police have advised not to approach the man as he is very dangerous.

STAN appears at kitchen window with a hockey stick in his hand. BRYAN does not see him because he his holding up a newspaper.

STAN bangs the window with his hockey stick. BRYAN hears this and looks up. STAN quickly ducks down below the window. BRYAN goes back to reading his newspaper. STAN pops back up, bangs the window again and ducks back down. BRYAN looks up and then back to the paper. STAN does this again. This time BRYAN puts down his news paper and leaves it down. STAN pops back up again.

BRYAN
You!

BRYAN gets up and opens the window.

BRYAN
Your that guy that attacked me three times last year. Stealing all my wallets and my basket weaving book. Yeah, I remember you.

BRYAN punches his open hand.

ADAM
Yes and your the guy that knocked me out.

BRYAN
Your not getting in here. All the doors and windows are locked.

BRYAN closes the window and locks it.

STAN
(YELLING) You'll have to come out of there some time!

CUT TO:

EXT. BUSHES - DAY

Next day, STAN waits behind bushes near BRYAN's house. BRYAN comes out wheeling his garbage bin. STAN steps out from the bushes.

STAN
So are you going to say sorry or am I going to have to knock an apology out of you, you dumb ass.

BRYAN
What!? Your the one that stole my wallets, three times and my basket weaving book. I only acted in self-defense.

STAN
(ANGRY)
Well, let's see if you can defend this!

STAN throws a punch at BRYAN. BRYAN returns it.

BRYAN
See, I can defen ..

STAN punches BRYAN in the face

STAN
Your not so strong, just because you knocked me out last time doesn't mean you can do it again!

There is a lot of grunting from all three parties. The fighting gets faster. STAN and BRYAN knock each other out with a punch from each of them. BRYAN revives after a few minutes.

BRYAN
(WEARILY)
Where am I?

BRYAN slowly gets up almost falling down a few times. He brushes himself off very carefully with a dazed expression on his face. BRYAN moves towards STAN hesitantly. He stands there blank for a few seconds until he finally bends over and checks for a pulse.

BRYAN
He's is dead!

BRYAN takes a wallet out of STAN's back pocket. He bounces it in his hand and runs off with it smiling all the way. STAN is left lying on the ground. It becomes night and STAN is still lying there. He suddenly jumps up and and looks around.

STAN
Dam! He did it to me again.

He feels his back pocket.

STAN
And he stole my wallet!

CUT TO BLACK:

Music and Credits start.